What to ask, and what to check yourself

Before you hand anyone your parent, there are a handful of things worth asking and a handful worth checking yourself. The checking matters more, and almost nobody does it: the public record answers questions a visit cannot, and it is free.

• A community you are touring

  Assisted living, residential care, memory care, an adult foster home, a nursing facility — anywhere your parent would move in.

  7 questions · 4 things to check · 6 things that should worry you

• An in-home care agency

  A licensed agency that sends caregivers to your parent's house for personal care — bathing, dressing, meals, company.

  7 questions · 4 things to check · 6 things that should worry you

• Hiring a caregiver yourself

  Employing someone directly rather than through an agency — usually because it costs a third less an hour.

  6 questions · 5 things to check · 6 things that should worry you

• Home health, and hospice

  Skilled nursing and therapy at home after a hospital stay, and end-of-life care. Both are usually paid by Medicare, which makes them a different transaction from everything else on this page.

  6 questions · 4 things to check · 5 things that should worry you

• Someone who offers to help you choose

  Placement advisors, senior living advisors, referral services, and geriatric care managers. The category where the person helping you may be paid by the place you pick.

  6 questions · 4 things to check · 6 things that should worry you

Almost every checklist like this is published by a company that is paid when your parent moves in. That is why they are all about touring, and why none of them tells you to look up whether the advisor is registered with the state, or what a license classification means, or that the state's list of home health agencies is longer than Medicare's. We are not paid by anyone your family hires, so those are in here.